Legs Like Jelly By Granny Carne
by The Big Hosepipe in the Sky
Summary: In which. Conor steals THE BOOK... Granny Carne gets a glittery wand, Elvira falls from the ceiling and many more random things which would be too spoilery to tell you... Yet! Sequel to The Bookshop


**The Big Hosepipe in the Sky:Hello it's me again, oh and Lyra The Human. We're writing a sequel to The Bookshop. Sooo here it is...**

YES! I got it, I got her book. At last I can read what really happen all those times in Ingo, and whether I need to hate Faro's guts or not.

_Half a book later..._

Well it seems, okay so far but she didn't describe my looks amazingly enough...

Suddenly our new cat Autumn come and tears the rest of the book apart, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY BOOK HOW COULD YOU AUTUMN? HOW COULD YOU?

Autumn and Sadie briefly high-fived... Maybe I should get a piece of pie from the fridge... To detract me from this recent sorrow... I look up to see Sapphire dashing in from the kitchen.

"CONOR IT'S GONE! IT'S GONE! I'M GOING TO BLOODY KILL WHOEVERTOOK IT!"

she ranted, waving her arms hysterically. I took a deep breath.

"Okay Saph, I admit it. I intruded your personal life by stealing your diary... BUT I ONLY READ A FEW PAGES I SWEAR- "

"Wait, I'm talking about that slice of lemon cake Mum made... You mean you've been looking in my Diary?"

"Oh. In that case I didn't"

"CONOR HOW COULD YOU I TRUSTED YOU!"

"But Saph I just needed to know whether to kill Faro or not... That's all"

"Whatever. I'm going to see Faro."

"you mean your boyfriend"I mutter under my breath.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"Nothing!"I say quickly"anyway there's no way your going to Ingo!"

"Who said anything about Ingo? I'm going to the bathroom."She says turning to walk up the stairs.

Wait what? She said she was going to Ingo... Not the bathroom.

I ran up the stairs.

"SAPPHIRE WHAT THE HELL!"

"Greetings red faced earth Conor" I hear the familiar laugh of Faro, the one that to this day gives me the urge to make a mile-high order at the nearest Sushi company.

What hang on, What's he doing in my bathroom!

"YAY GO TEAM SARO! SARO FOREVER".

"What the... Granny Carne?"

I sight I'd never thought I'd see, Granny Carne, dressed in a T-shirt with a photo of Faro and Saph (wait, where did she take it?) wielding a flag with 'Saro4ever' written on it in one hand, and in the other a large loudspeaker, fangirling hysterically.

I breath in deeply to try to calm down my shattered nerves.

Then Granny Carne decides to come up...

"Faro in order for Saro to work out you need legs... As I'm kind I will also give you clothes."

She takes out her her glittery sparkley wand and then some bees come and start singing Chariots of Fire... I'm really starting to wonder if I'm dreaming, I'm probably not, you know all all this stuff and the fact that last week Saph wanted to be Clover from Totally Spies... Oh and Rainbow started to not NOT like My Little Pony.

_Flashback_

"_CONOR GET THE DOOR!"_

_I get up to open the door, I mean it's not like I have to or anything I want to, hehe he._

_I open the door._

"_Hi Conor"_

"_RAINZ WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?"_

"_Do you like it? It's my Peeta top TEAM PEETA!, GALE YOU SUCK!"_

_End of Flashback_

I shudder to think about it.

Sapphire screams.

"GRANNY CARNE WHAT DID YOU DO? HE'S HUMAN!" No reply, except from a few giggles and fangirliy-squeals from Granny Carne and the bees. "This'll be the perfect inspirtaion for my Saro fic I'm writing for ! It's called 'Legs like jelly'"

"Granny carne, are you on the Owl-nip again? That doesn't even make sense."

Carne crossed her arms. "My dear Conor, this is a story about mermaids and magic. You are hardly in the postion to lecture me upon sense. And you ask me what I'M smoking too! It's Helen Dunmmore you should question...Or, in this case, God."

"Granny Carne do NOT bring her into this... That is so last story"Says Saph

And then Elvira came though the ceiling.

"GO AWAY ELVIRA NO ONE LIKES YOU"Yells Saph

"Yeah and you left me all on my own so I decided to come and live with Sapphire."Says Faro

"Wait how did you get on top on the roof?"Asks Conor

"STOP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS CONOR!"They all yell(All of them, that's right Conor too...)

"I've come to see my darling Conor of course..."Elvira said while think _soon he will be mind and leave the horrid human! Bitch behind._

As they are talking, I quickly edge towards the door.

"CONOR! Conor my lovely love don't leave me"

I kicked the door open and ran for it. But I didn't get far. I crashed into the solid form of Roger, just

as he and Mum where walking in.

"Conor where are you going in such a hurry?"Roger asks

"AWAY FROM THOSE FREAKS!"I yell slamming the door

"Conor don't slam the door"Mum says

"SORRY MUM"

_Granny Carne POV_

"Now Sapphire, if you don't go out with Faro no more honey cake for you!"

"But, but that's not fair"She whines.

"Hay guys wanna play Monopoly?"Says Roger popping his head around the door.

"Go away Roger. No one likes you. Especially not anyone on There isn't a single fic dedicated to you on the entire website."

"What?"he asks before running out crying.

"Meh I never really liked him"

_Conor POV_

"Hello earth human Conor!"

Faro suddenly came up from behind of stair at the Local Sushi place.

"Go away Faro. I am so in the mood for mermaid sushi right now... Well, in this case now it's human. But I bet you still taste kinda fishy."

"Okay I'll go, but first you need to tell me what pony you think Sapphire is most like"

My fanboy squeal is so strangely high-pitched for a teenage boy of my age the bartender looks at me to check if I'm in any pain.

"YOU LIKE MY LITTLE PONY TOO? ISN'T THE BESTEST BEST SHOW EVER LIKE SOOOOO BESTEST BEST THAT IT BEATS SCOODY DOO?"

"I know, put it there brony"

We bro-hoof.

"I was thinking AppleJack"says Conor

"Idiot"I hear Faro mutter under his breath"Your just saying that because you want her to stay near earth. It's soooooo obvious she's like Lyra"

"Don't you mean Rarity? She's always freaking out, and well..." _Fawning over some boy. _I think.

"WHAT? ARE YOU IMPLYING" Faro suddenly bursts.

"wait, how'd you know what I was thinking?"

"I can mind read Conor. THAT MEANS I CAN READ MINDS."

**Hi, it's me. Lyra The Human, who co-wrote this... This... Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as me and Pipey didi writing it. (I didin't' want to do this guys! SHE MADE ME)**

**THE BIG HOSEPIPE IN THE SKY:Oi Lyly are you speading lies about me?**

**LYRA THE HUMAN: Firstly, you spell "Spreading" with an "R" secondly, THEY MADE ME.**

**THE BIG HOSEPIPE IN THE SKY:Firstly didn't doesn't have two I's in it and secondly who?**

**LYRA THE HUMAN: Do you have inner voices that bug you in the night for bloodshed and popcorn who sound like Bugs Bunny?**

**THE BIG HOSEPIPE IN THE SKY:Um Lyra are you feeling okay? O_o**

**LYRA THE HUMAN: OMG, one of the eyes of your O_o icon are bigger then the other! I should ask you that very question! :C**

**THE BIG HOSEPIPE IN THE SKY:We can continue this later, we don't want to bore the readers do we Lyly?**

**LYRA THE HUMAN: It was your idea to feature this thoug-**

***some incredible disaster that totally wasn't caused by Pipey suddenly befalls Lyra***


End file.
